Dr Stella Nyanzi Stabs Museveni Again, Calls Him Ettalo

Dr Stella Nyanzi Stabs Museveni Again, Calls Him Ettalo

In the bigger frame of things in Uganda, the tiny benign tumour became a vicious malignant cancer because we put talcum powders and soothing balms on it, instead of cutting it out in its early days. Akayutte ka NRM kati ttalo lizibu. Empanama yafuuka ekiwanama. The governance deficits are too many and too dire!

I am so desperate for regime change that sometimes I feel like buying a loaded gun, teaching myself how to take aim and fire, lying in wait for the president, and shooting him vack to the realm of his ancestors. But alas, killing one old and massively hated patriarchal tyrant is too easy to cure Uganda of the widespread misrule established for the last thirty-one years. That one gun and its one death, although important ingredients, are not nearly enough to bring down the entire systems upholding and entrenching the corrupt dictatorship in place. Eliminating one big bad malignant cell will not remove the cancer that has eaten the bulk of our country. Killing the president is too easy to end the dictatorship. Akayutte kaatufuukira ettalo ezibu.

And so, I put away the easy debates about whether a bullet, voodoo or poison is the fastest way to kill the president. Instead, I push my hand inside my panties and masturbate to thoughts of effective citizen action. Thoughts about how to end this dictatorship are my favorite catalysts towards huge solo orgasms. Considering that I will not buy a gun to kill the president, I am now defiantly wanking myself into liberation. I should form a new political party called Defiant Masturbators for Regime Change! Who will join my party?